And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
