If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
