On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So many bounce houses so little time
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
