The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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