Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I am available for nakedness
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
