I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize