i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
