I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
