seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize