Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize