I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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