So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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