You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Rumble strips road head = magical
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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