my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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