**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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