i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
