it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
