the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
