If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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