He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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