I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Soap is not a condiment
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Do vagina's smell?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
