in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
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Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
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If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
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I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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