Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize