i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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