Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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