Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
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I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
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I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize