I'm lost and stupid without you.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
