Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
