guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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