My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
