I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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