Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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