I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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