Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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