If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
