Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
