it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
try to milk me bitch
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