Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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