Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
