STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
