Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
