I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
