Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
