why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
