yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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