Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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