She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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