So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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