I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
