return my video game
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
