I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He did a backflip because drugs
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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