erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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