We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
