on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
