She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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