Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
