names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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