lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
