Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
