OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
