the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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