i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
