you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
