so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
