I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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