my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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