ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
