tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
