Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
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were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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