i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
