I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
