There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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