can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
