What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I smell like Dick and happiness
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
